COMIC BY WESTON HIRVELA
What the Signs Need to Hear about their Bad Habits
Aries: Chewing with your mouth open is honestly one of the most disgusting things you could do, and I’ve seen you do a lot. Be respectful of others around you and close your mouth.
Taurus: If you continue to eat your roommate’s food, you’ll soon find yourself living alone. Mind their boundaries and get your own snacks.
Gemini: Put your dirty clothes away. They’re gross. It doesn’t matter where as long as they’re not on the floor or your chair anymore.
Cancer: Please do us all a favor and throw out the spoiled food sitting in your fridge. It’s for the greater good.
Leo: Those dirty dishes won’t wash themselves! You’re not better than the rest of us by refusing to look at the cups piling up in the sink.
Virgo: You may think you have everything in order, but you’re neglecting to sleep enough. If you’re routinely sleep-deprived, aspects of your life will start to crumble.
Libra: You may strive for balance, but you won’t find that while biting your nails. Consider choosing another hobby to replace gnawing on your fingertips.
Scorpio: You may think you’re too busy to take the trash out, but that’s not true. Humble yourself and take responsibility for your living space.
Sagittarius: Consistently showing up late doesn’t make you look cool. Instead, it makes you look dismissive of others’ time.
Capricorn: You make yourself forgettable by slouching all the time. Stand up straight, and maybe someone will finally remember you.
Aquarius: When was the last time you vacuumed your rug? I can tell it’s been a while. You should go do that.
Pisces: Procrastination master! Living in your daydream may sound fun, but too much so encroaches on real life and will leave you behind.
Last weekend, the Loyola Ramblers beat the Illinois Fighting Illini 71-58 in the biggest upset of the tournament, all due to their biggest fan, and who the team considers their MVP, Sister Jean. Sister Jean, the 101 year old nun, made sure she had her vaccine and was able to attend the March Madness game, where she led the Loyola Ramblers in prayer and ultimately to victory. Social Media has gone crazy over Sister Jean’s pregame prayer which included a very analytical argument as to why the Ramblers deserved to win, highlighting their percentages of three-pointers and layups. Though the end result was a bracket buster for many, you got to hand it to Sister Jean for her unwavering support for the Ramblers!
Other upsets of last weekend include:
Oral Roberts vs Ohio State 75-72
ACU vs Texas 53-52
Oregon St vs Oklahoma St 80-70
Oregon vs Iowa 95-80
Let’s hear it for the underdogs!
This Wednesday celebrates the 390th St. Patrick’s Day, with the earliest known celebration being held on March 17, 1631 along with history dating the holiday back more than 1,500 years. As many already know, common symbols of this Irish holiday include the shamrock, the leprechaun, rainbows, pots of gold and, of course, the color green. Many of these symbols originated from Irish myths and religion. For example, the shamrock was a sacred plant that symbolized the arrival of spring, according to the Celts. But one symbol has an interesting and fun history, earning them their own holiday on March 13th – the leprechaun. Leprechauns are likely based on Celtic fairies, which are small bodied men and women who use magic for good and bad. Usually, these “fairies” were depicted as cranky old beings responsible for mending the shoes of the other fairies while using trickery to get the “pot of gold”. So remember to where green on Wednesday to show support for the “little guys”!
The Signs as Discontinued Fast Food Items
Aries: Little Caesar’s Pepperoni Crazy Bread. An appetizer, you often hold out for the next best thing to come along. Realize that sometimes nothing appears and you need to make do with what you have.
Taurus: Pizza Hut’s Taco Pizza. Combining two favorites may sound delectable, but you must recognize whether the outcome is something you truly desire. Taking time to reflect is always a good idea.
Gemini: Dairy Queen’s MySTIRy Misty. Just like this slushy, you too change yourself to fit the situation at hand, whether that benefits others or not. Be cautious as to how you present yourself.
Cancer: Arby’s Sourdough Melts. A solid choice, but one that may not appeal to everyone. There is no denying that you have desirable qualities, just focus on making yourself attractive to a wider audience.
Leo: Sonic’s French Toaster Breakfast Sandwich. A gluttonous choice is a foolhardy choice, whether that becomes apparent now or in the future. You have several good aspects but need to recognize when each part should be emphasized.
Virgo: KFC’s Chicken Littles. Simplicity rules your desires, and you aim for minimalism whenever possible. While not entirely wrong, there is more to life than just the simple things.
Libra: McDonald’s McSalad Shakers. You think shaking a salad in a cup is a way to add fun to your day. Please do more things that add joy to your life.
Scorpio: Taco Bell’s Spicy Chicken Burrito. Spicy, hot and addictive become a dangerous when combined. It is said that if the work is put in, you can still be enjoyed.
Sagittarius: Wendy’s Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty. Popular but short-lived, this item describes you in more ways than one. Look inward and analyze how you can increase your social longevity.
Capricorn: Whataburger’s Steak Fajitas. A basic choice, but one that will consistently be there for you. While not picked often, believe that you will still be chosen.
Aquarius: Jack in the Box’s Cheesy Macaroni Bites. It’s a mystery why you aren’t kept around more often. You have all the qualities of a keepsake, but something is off that restricts you from becoming a longstanding figure.
Pisces: Burger King’s Cini-Minis. A perfect appetizer for a short time, but too much will leave you feeling bloated and sick. Understand when restraint is needed.
I feel like I did so awful on my midterms and just feel like me being in college during a huge
pandemic was such a mistake. I started school not being in a pandemic, so I don’t really want to
halt my college experience. How do I stay motivated to be in college?
-Covid College Student
Dear Covid College Student,
Being in college right now can be a stressful thing. Having to deal with the new campus
regulation while also dealing with different class formats and also not being allowed to be social
is definitely really unfortunate. Social interaction is one of the biggest ways we as college
students can have fun and grow but we can’t right now because of Covid-19. By following the
rules and being hopeful we can slowly move towards being a safer campus and not jeopardizing
the health of other students. I know it sucks but hopefully soon we will be able to go back to a
semi-normal way of doing college.
During these first two semesters at Alma, I have felt the most unorganized I have ever felt in my
life. How do I change that when I feel like I’m already so badly organized?
-A Big Mess
Dear A Big Mess,
It is so hard to stay organized right now. Dealing with online classes, so many assignments, and
canvas can be really stressful. I have a couple suggestions for you. First, you want to make sure
you are planning ahead. Maybe you have to take a day out of the week (maybe the weekend)
where you plan out your week. It might be a good idea to plan to focus on your due dates so
you can see what needs to get done first. Another thing you could do is find a way to visually be
able to see what you have to do. Maybe this looks like having a to-do list on your desk or even
on your phone. Getting a visual reminder throughout your day on your desk could be a
motivator to get at least a little bit more work done.
I have a lot of questions and concerns for allot of the policies and rules at Alma but don’t really know how to address them.
-trying to ask the school
Dear trying to ask the school,
I would make sure you are searching out all possibilities to be able to talk with the school. Make sure you know when town hall meetings happen with President Abernathy and also be aware of when he hosts his office hours. You can find this in the emails the administration sends out. I’d also have conversations with students and faculty so you are all aware of concerns and can share concerns if you are able to relate.
I feel like there’s nothing going on during the pandemic on campus. I want to have fun but I’m trying to be safe and follow guidelines. What should I do?
It can get hard not being able to do everything that was allowed pre-covid but the school and students are doing their best to give the students a great time at Alma with events throughout the semester. Follow ACUB on social media so you are aware of all the super fun events they are hosting. Also be on the lookout for events that clubs are having and fun fundraising events that Greek life is having!