ALEXANDRA GILLIES
GRAPHIC DESIGNER
KYLE CHOKAS
STAFF WRITER
SARON GEBREGZIABHIER
STAFF WRITER
4/1/2024
In a landmark game this past April 1, the Alma College Squirrels took on the Pine River Ducks in a head-to-head football match that decides who is going to rule the Alma College campus for the 2024-2025 school year.
The game took place at Bahlke Field on Sunday evening, and it was a tight game as both teams fought hard for their chance at victory. The tension in the air was palpable, with fans on the edge of their seats, eagerly munching on their popcorn and peanuts, not knowing whether to root for the mighty Squirrels or the waddling Ducks.
From the kickoff, it was evident that the Squirrels meant business. Their nimble footwork and acorn-like agility had the Ducks scrambling to keep up. But the Ducks were not to be underestimated, and, with their synchronized quacking strategies and water-resistant defense, they were determined to make a splash on the field.
Students lined the stands and were biting their nails frivolously as they watched the tension-filled game. The Ducks initially were ahead at the start of the second quarter, leading by 15 points, but the Squirrels had a major come-back after putting Lucy Squirrel, the granddaughter of the infamous Gossip Squirrel in as their kicker.
Declan Duck, the quarterback of the team, knew going into halftime that they would have to change their strategy if they were to win the game and he and his team did just that. But neither team wanted to go into hibernation the upcoming season, which made each player fight harder than before for their win.
As the teams went into the final quarter, the score was tied 46 to 46. The crowd was going wild with excitement for their respective teams and the game went into overtime, after ending the fourth quarter tied again at 52 to 52.
The game ended with the Alma College Squirrels barely scraping by for the win, but ultimately taking the game and winning by 62 to 56. The Ducks held their heads low in defeat as they returned to their creek while the Squirrels celebrated their victory with acorns in the woods nearby Bahlke Field.
“Quack, quack, quack, quack,” said Damon Duck, the coach of the Pine River Ducks, “Quack, quack, quack!”
The direct translation of this is as follows, “My players fought hard for dominance over the campus of Alma College. I have no doubt that after some training we can return next year and secure the win.”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak,” said Edna Squirrel, the head coach of the Alma College Squirrels.
The translation of Edna Squirrel’s speech is as follows, “We win, as always. This campus is our campus. Now we’re going to celebrate this victory at Nuthouse.”
The squirrels once again have reign over campus for the 2024-2025 school year and students are ecstatic about this. Next April 1, we’ll return to Bahlke Field as the Alma College Squirrels take on the Pine River Ducks. Kick-off is at 7 PM.
The Alma College Squirrels have once again nutted up and clinched victory over the Pine River Ducks for the 2024-2025 school year. Looks like those squirrels weren’t just “nuts” about winning, they were determined to “acorn” the title of campus champions. As they scamper off to celebrate at the Nuthouse, one thing’s for sure – these squirrels sure know how to “shell-ebrate” in style. Until next April 1st, when the rivalry resumes with Kick-off at 7 PM, let’s raise a toast to the Squirrels and their bushy-tailed triumph!
Happy April Fools’ Day!
The Almanian: News 
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